Thursday, January 26, 2006
2:48 AM
Where to, Lord?I know God wants me somewhere specific. Through the years as a Christian, I've come to see God move in different people. I've seen people doing God related work and yet don't seem to feel that they're where they're supposed to be, and they refuse to question where they are for fear of being uprooted from a comfy routine/space they've made for themselves. I've seen other people even just outside of their church fulfilling His purposes daily, minute by minute, second after second just growing, learning, and improving the atmosphere around them for His glory.
It has been my heart's desire even as a young girl in highschool to find myself at home in my church, wherever that was at the time. I envied my best friend, who happened to be the daughter of an admin person at one of the most established evangelical churches in the city. She grew up in church, helping her mother, and in turn they got their feeding, as much of it as they wanted. It was as if at any time, she could open a door right next to her and she'd be in the band, or in the choir, or head of a camp project, or retreat. Her parents communed with the church. They had Bible studies at home and they were nourished by the community.
We moved several times over the years and I won't hesitate to say that as a family it's like we're starting over after all the trials. A new home, a new community, a new church...not to mention...a whole New Life? Hehe. Right now I'm faced with decisions on where to dedicate my productivity in church, and how much of it He wants me to give. It would be easy for any church leader to say "Of course He wants everything you can give to the church, don't spare a drop." but that may not be the totality of His purpose for me at this point in my life. My mother believes He wants me to bring glory to Him outside of the church, in my career, but I feel...it's just too easy to dismiss serving in church. I have something to give to my church. I need to know what it is exactly. Right now, I'm hoping it's in the realm of music, the worship team, coz I love singing. Of course I need to discern, because reality is my job doesn't have the best hours. With faith and wisdom together...I'll make my decision.
I seek relevance.
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