Tuesday, January 31, 2006
5:21 PM
The Christian irony of wanting
One of the most radical principles I've been learning to work at in following Jesus is the principle involving personal desire. We know that not all our desires are in line with God's, whether it be financial, career-related, or in certain relationships. I've realized over the years that in wanting something so badly, we often steal from ourselves in the longrun, missing out on so many things God wants to prosper us in.
My new line to live by that I have taken from meditating and applying verses is this, "want it? get over it!". It's not yours to have until it's been given to you. Over ba? Why God why ba? I've shared this with friends who squirm and yelp when something they want seems to be witheld from them, I've also shared this with myself heehee, time and time again. I realized that everything good that could possibly come our way is God's first before our own. We have to accept with joy and trust that He wants to give us good things, and no one knows exactly what we want like He does, not even we know what we want half of the time.
Recently I've been experiencing this cycle of giving to receive, letting go to gain, and holding loosely to trust. Each time we go overboard with what takes up most of our priorities, He will take away so that we may seek Him again and trust.
Just when my flat began to seem like home, a change stares me in the face. With good reason, my roommate has to leave by the end of the month. See? Just when we get comfortable, He wakes us up so we prepare again for new things, so we trust Him again to make good things happen. I began to worry about all the bills once she leaves but I know if God truly wants me to keep this apartment, which I know I need, He will provide finances and He will provide a friend who can stay with me.
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